Probably the most anxiety producing time for an individual is when they are at an in-between period in their life. Liminal periods like adolescence… juxtaposed between childhood and adulthood and yet, neither one. The period when you go from single to married…and even more so when you move from only caring for yourself to bringing in another human being into the world. Or liminal periods like leaving the corporate work world to starting your own business, or transitioning from the workforce to retirement and focusing on creative aspects in the third trimester of life.
Always in transition there is apprehension, anxiety, stress, and the question, “Am I up for the task?”
I’ve been witness and so have you of this same phenomenon with respect to the incredible time period we are all navigating right now. The new millennium and the introduction of scientific breakthroughs and technological advances that have the potential to thrust us into a new world. We are in limbo between what is old, known and outdated, and what is new, foreign, and slightly as yet out of reach with our current global consciousness.
It feels that in our attempts at trying to conceive of it all yet conscious of so little, we, in our confusion of “what next,” can become distracted with lower-level conversations around X or Y. Yet, if we were to jump into our highest aspect of ourselves, open to our evolution… to move metaphorically from adolescence to adult, we might see that in this new world we are embarking on, it is not an either/or, but rather an And.
We need to have patience as shiny objects appear along our path promising all that has been missing. We know that the chase of all that shimmers and the distraction of debate is just that…a distraction from the bigger gain from collaborative learning and discussion. Wisdom would cause us to heed a pause, to reflect, to consider, and to remain open.
I observe that most of what I see in the area of relationship discord currently whether that be an online relationship or an in real life relationship is that we are living in a unique and unsure time. A time of revolutionary as well as evolutionary discovery. In this explosion we find ourselves seeking the most basic of meaning, to find ourselves in the chaos. What matter does our life make? And, do we even matter? Are we loved?
None of us are exempt from this most basic need. None of us are above the feeling of affirmation and connection with getting a Facebook “Like” or an acknowledgment on LinkedIn, a retweet on Twitter, a heart on Instagram, a share on Pinterest, others watching our 2 second snap on SnapChat. It’s validation that humans seek. It matters not our age, our generation, our ethnicity, our gender… it’s just human.
Those that say acknowledgment doesn’t matter to them, I would only believe their counsel if they did not have a social media presence. The ones saying they are above caring are the ones that have massive followings or “likes” already. I doubt they would’ve stayed if nobody cared what they posted. Beware the self-proclaimed guru above it all.
Why are we ashamed of our human nature to seek validation? Why can’t we all just admit that we care? Yes, I quite agree it would be incredible to be completely released of the need for Love, Approval, and Appreciation…but that is what Enlightenment is called. To me, that’s the end of the journey. So unless you consider yourself a living Avatar and an Enlightened Master, you’re in the trenches with the rest of us. It really is okay to be human, to show that human side, to be vulnerable, authentic, and real.
I think what people really want is the freedom to be accepted for who they are. I think what most people are afraid of is rejection, and rejection from those they admire most. The ones they project authority onto.
All of us are attracted to various people online due to their personality, their ability to do the things that we would love to do. To have the power we wish we had the power to possess. This is the truth of the human condition. The minute we become free is the minute that we realize that we determine who is powerful or not. We determine who possesses our soul.
On the path that reaches a crossroads and there are two ways you can go, the only way to access your wisdom and make the best choice for you is to know yourself. Know where you’ve come from, know where you are, and know where you want to be.
Go ahead be human, acknowledge what you need and recognize where and to whom you give your power to. There is no shame in the light of knowingness, there is no power over you when you shine a light upon the truth.
In our confusing, ever-changing, advancing, time of great transition, it is a delicious reprieve to remain grounded in remembering who we really are.