Welcome to my conversation about RelationShift®. This is the second post of 2 parts. If you did not read part 1, RelationShift 101: Get Shifted, I highly recommend you do so before continuing on. If you have read part 1, welcome back, and let’s continue!
We left off of Part 1 on the subject of Transformation and choosing an experience you would like to change. Take an unpleasant memory you have of a situation or an interaction with a person, feel the feeling and then take a look at the thought related to that unpleasant feeling. That sneaky thought can pack a powerful punch in your energy and emotions and most of the time we’ve never taken the time to investigate whether the thoughts we are having are actually true. Usually our unpleasant feelings have a thought attached to them that have “shoulds” involved…like “they should have done this” or “that should not have happened” or “they shouldn’t have said it that way,” etc., etc. Typically we unconsciously “should” all over ourselves and we “should” all over others cultivating more suffering and feelings of discomfort.
Travel with me now to the thoughts that are spinning inside your head at this moment. These thoughts are actively creating your current experience behind the scenes in the background whether you’re aware of it or not. Would you like to have a different experience? (If you’re enjoying your current experience, go with it and don’t change it!)
If you’re looking for more peace, clarity, tranquility, and harmony, simply open your mind, remain flexible and consider for a moment that if you had a different thought operating in the background, you might actually feel a different emotional response and thereby a different experience all together.
Are you with me on this? Our thoughts create. And one of the most powerful creations occur when we attach to the thought, in fact, attach to the thought and an emotion is born. Without thought, there’s no negative experience….it would just “be” a thought without a story, a meaning or a qualitative judgement.
Eckhart Tolle, in his book, A New Earth, shares, “The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.”
What if you were to examine any negative thought…whatever it is…. For example a thought like, “How rude! I said hello and smiled but she didn’t smile back. What’s wrong with people today? Nobody is courteous anymore.”
This is a thought. And if we attach to it, we begin to make a story…and the story grows the more we attach our energy to the thought. Is it true? How can we know it’s true? Our minds make stories to make sense of the information coming in, but it does not mean it’s factual or true.
The feeling associated with this thought might be frustration and irritation. This thought may not serve to open up the relationship to all the good feelings we wish to experience. This kind of thinking is destructive.
How might we SHIFT our thoughts and thereby transform our entire experience?
- Touch the feeling
- Identify the thought behind it
- Reboot and Refresh your thinking
- Transform the experience
In my experience I’ve found many of us at times unconsciously are not wishing to transform our experience. We say we do, but we don’t do it. Why? Unfortunately, because we’re too attached to the story of our misery. Sometimes we are trapped in our own story and we identify with our pain. In order to experience all of the desires of our heart, we must be willing, compassionate and courageous enough to let go of our need to “be right” about our story of who we think we are so that we have an opportunity to have a different experience. We would be free to experience a life of peace, harmony, joy, love…forgiveness. Redemption is just a thought away.
No one wants to be wrong. Not me, not you and not the person you are working through this current problem with. To truly create change, we begin by choosing to reboot and refresh our minds and thoughts; in turn letting go of our position. Otherwise, we have made a conscious choice to remain stuck in the experience we already have in lieu of something different.
I would ask you now to begin noticing your feelings and simply become observant or aware of the thought behind each emotion that bubbles up in your experience. Taking this action step will begin to demonstrate how very powerful we are at creating our own experience. We always get to be right. As you think, so do you experience emotions. What do you choose? Negative, painful, stressful, or peaceful, calm, and compassionate?
This is an opportunity to transform our experience. By identifying and recognizing our thoughts and feelings, we can transform our experience by making a choice to either accept, disregard, or change our underlying thoughts. Perhaps by simply accepting how we feel, and why we feel this way, we can identify a new strategy and direction forward in our relationship.
You and I choose our experience. If we choose misery, pain and suffering, then this is our choice. No judgement, it’s simply a choice. If we don’t like it, we can choose thoughts that support us rather than unravel us.
The sixth century Roman philosopher Boethius said “Nothing is miserable unless you think it so; and on the other hand, nothing brings happiness unless you are content with it.”
Having a life of balance and harmony calls upon us to be couragous and take responsibility for our experience in daily life.
Sometimes we choose to be angry, sad or disappointed. There is nothing wrong with such a choice. It’s just an experience. When we are tired with an experience or we desire strongly enough to have a different experience, we can make another choice.
We do have the power to experience all that we most deeply desire in our life. It is all about our choices. We choose. Thoughts come, they just do, it’s part of our human experience. Where we exercise our strength, our brilliance, our true power, is in choosing what we hold onto and what we let go of. Yes, it’s really quite exciting. We are more powerful than we can possibly imagine.
What do you choose?