In a recent article in Forbes by Steve Olenski, Tamara McCleary was listed as one of the Top CMO (Chief Marketing Officer) Twitter Influencers for 2015 according to Leadtail. Tamara’s ranking at #18, puts her solidly in the Top 20 and in the company of such social media superstars as Tesla & SpaceX Founder Elon Musk (#20), Salesforce CEO Marc Benioff (#17) and Mark Cuban TV Personality and Owner of the Dallas Mavericks (#43).
According to the article:
The insights come courtesy of Leadtail, a company that provides ideas and insights into the world of online marketing and social media. The insights were collected and amassed via a panel of over 1,200 B2B and B2C CMOs and marketing executives located in North America and active on Twitter in 2015 and via over 640,000 tweets including over 350,000 shared links.
In reviewing all the data from 2015, Carter Hostelley, CEO of Leadtail believes, generally speaking, “CMOs are looking for strategic insights from peers, thought leaders, publications and vendors to cope with the explosion of technology and data-driven marketing.”
The Velveteen Rabbit story, was not perfect, it wasn’t laden with positive quotes, it wasn’t an admonition to live the SECRET or showing us the way of abundance through positive affirmations, but it pulled us in at a very deep level and engaged us because we could relate to the struggle… herein lies the message of this post.
While I was being interviewed recently, the interviewer began talking to her audience, she said, “I just want to remind all my viewers that I don’t believe that we should post anything negative on social media at all, I advocate that everything we post should be positive, and we should only be posting things that are uplifting, and our positive thoughts because we are small businesses and this is what people will see.” I noticed I was nodding my head ever so slightly in a reluctant “yes” gesture, (I could see myself in the camera because it was a Skype’d video interview), and as she was talking I had this inner dialogue going in my mind saying, “Why are you nodding your head? You don’t even agree with what she’s saying!” I mean, yes I agree if she’s talking about people sharing with us any kind of hate message or bullying, but…
I don’t 100% agree. I truly want to know more about people than just posting positive quotes from dead people. I mean I honestly think there’s a balance. When we post only the positive affirmations, sayings and reflections, we don’t give voice to the things that are less than rose posey, kittens and ribbons. We miss out on connecting through the juice of life. The everyday, regular, life.
Our feelings, our thoughts our deepest pondering. This is real life we are talking about. I don’t know about you but when I see someone only post super awesome-sauce about their fabulous life, two things happen.
- I don’t relate at all because my life is so weird, (I am a mother for heaven’s sake), and Polly Anna all-the-live-long-day bores the crap out of me.
- I know it’s not real, (you know it’s not real), nobody lives like that. Nobody.
I agree with my interviewer that positive is good. But real life, even the struggle is “good” to connect us more deeply. By-the-way, yes, I Tweet dead people. Yeah, I’m Twitter positive, Facebook positive, Instagram positive, and bloody Snapchat positive. However, where I part ways with my interviewer, is that I believe that we can sometimes do more harm than good when our posts are 100% picture perfect all the time. It’s just not real life. It’s not revealing.
My favorite people online… the ones I love to follow, I engage with most, and I’m willing to give them my email address and sign up for all their shit, are the flawed ones. The ones who make me giggle at the folly, the pit falls, the stumbles, and fall-flat-on-your-face adventure that this human experience holds for us sometimes.
Being human is a learning adventure, it’s messy, it’s complicated, it’s sticky, and I think we learn not only through encouragement (the positive), but support, (the honest, transparent, flawed side we all share).
How many parenting experts talk about how we damage our children by incessant praise and delivering unearned trophies for simply showing up to the soccer field? We don’t do our kids any favors by shielding them from the realities of the world. We also don’t do one another any favors by shielding each other from pain, suffering, and all manner of human expression. Since when is it “bad” to show people you have challenges? I actually don’t even see it as “good” or “bad.” To me it all just “is.” This “is” the gritty, gusto, goofy, Ooey Gooey stuff of life.
I don’t need another picture-perfect cardboard personality to connect to, do you? Give me your flaws, your laughter, your silly side, your camaraderie, your irreverence, your transparency, your sadness, your challenges, and your vulnerability to just “be” you and allow me to just “be” me.
That’s the beauty of real relationship. The gorgeous support and buoyancy of an authentic, genuine, transparent, human connection. We all embraced the Velveteen Rabbit while he was covered with stains. What made him real, makes us real. Love.
What I’m about to share with you as a secret of life, the secret of joy, happiness, clarity and success may seem to be a contradiction in terms, but it really isn’t anything more than the bare truth. Living a life of mental equilibrium, happiness, and success is simply living a life that accepts what is and doesn’t argue with what is showing up, (a.k.a. reality). You’ll often here me talk about taking action to re-invent your life or reignite the passion for your business or your writing and take a stand to create what you envision for yourself, but how does that match up with accepting what is? What if you don’t like what’s showing up lately? Is acceptance defeat?
Accepting what is, doesn’t mean that we have to be doormats and roll over to do nothing about what’s showing up in our life circumstances. On the contrary, we create our future through the action we take today, including the decision to treat our mind to positive thoughts and our body to positive life-enhancing chemicals created by our thinking. Stepping into our authority and not abdicating it means actively co-creating our experience by responding to our circumstances instead of passively being tossed about by them and flung into reactivity. A reactive state is a neurotransmitter trip flooded by damaging chemicals that’ll bathe our brains in sadness, worry, anxiety, overwhelm…and ultimately inaction or even pharmacoloogic-intervention. (a.k.a. popping a pill for what ails you.)
Life can show up with things that are out of our realm of control, but it’s how we respond to them that makes all the difference in our experience. Often times our life circumstances present us with challenges that can potentially drain our life-force energy and seemingly take possession of our minds having a very negative effect on our mood as well as our energy.
There’s another way and it’s free as well as life-affirming.
By accepting that which we can’t change, we proactively remove the power that it holds over our life. We can accept and we can decide to act and we can choose to dwell upon or release negative, dark or uncomfortable thinking. When has worry ever helped our cause? When has anxiety ever healed our loved one? When has despair or depression ever drawn us closer to others for a deeper experience of connection?
In all of my early years as a pediatric RN working with dying children as a hospice cases manager and years actively involved in bereavement counseling with parents, I experienced miracle upon miracle delivered through acceptance and consciously choosing a different experience. I witnessed love, faith, hope, and deep healing through incredible life situations of pain and suffering.
All of our experiences are merely that…they are experiences. We choose what we experience. We really do. I know it might feel like something you’d like to toss out and especially when faced with deep challenges a statement like that might make you desire to reject it outright. But feel into this nugget without judgement for a moment. We may not be at-choice for physical pain, death, and the consequences of another’s misperception, prejudice or unconsciousness. We can choose how we respond to pain, loss or what has been brought to us as a result of someone else’s unconsciousness.
We are always at-choice, we are strong, resilient, incredible miracle-makers walking around in meat suits. (A sage woman I used to know used the phrase meat suit to describe the human flesh and I never forgot it!) We are spiritual beings having a human experience. Often we forget the human part and the experience part and want to jump ahead to spiritual enlightenment. Isn’t this our journey…the experience piece? The human-part is fallible and makes mistakes, the experience-part suggests that we are learning. All of us.
Without pain we know not pleasure. Without sorrow we know not joy. Some of the most interesting people, gifted poets, talented writers, hilarious comedians…all knew their opposite in order to find their own unique treasure.
As a writer I know that my fictional characters are far more interesting to my reader when they have flaws as well as obstacles on their journey. It’s no different in real life than it is in fiction. (I’ll admit there are moments when I’ve fantasized about a life less like a page-turner. Can you relate?)
Opening ourselves to the mindset of acceptance allows us to let go and release anything that doesn’t serve to bring us joy, happiness, or success along our path. We can accept what shows up in every moment. We can take action on what we can do, even if all we can do is shift our mindset about the experience we are having in the moment.
My words are not hollow and empty. I’ve spent 27 years steeped in this work professionally. Part of my journey as counselor, teacher and mentor has been to practice this with my own life experience. The practice becomes a gift the more you are able to use it in times of seemingly impossible life situations.
Practical Tools for Accepting What Is:
- Stop. Breathe. Reflect on what is causing you struggle, discomfort or suffering. (Chances are it is a thought that is at the root of your struggle and suffering)
- Make a list of the parts of your life you can’t change, and gain clarity around what you can do to respond and what is not in your control.
- Notice your feelings without attaching to them, ask yourself if these feelings are supporting your desire for increased joy, happiness, clarity, or success. If your emotional body is not in alignment with what you want to create, then practice letting go of what is not within your control and take action on what is in your control. Practice responding to your situation and resist any knee-jerk reactions. For instance: If you need to get a job to pay your debts and decrease stress, get a job. If you need to write to stop that writer’s guilt, then write (write anything…even a grocery list). Do ONE thing a day that you can do to remedy your life situation or the experience of your life situation.
- Let go of the negative feelings you have for what you can’t change and challenge yourself to move forward and even use these “challenges” for positive gain, growth, insight, or service to another who may be going through a same or similar situation.
If you’re not having the experience right now that you desire, take a look at what you can do to reinvent yourself. Is there something you can do differently in your life situation, your work, your schedule or your relationships to support what you’d like to experience? How might you respond differently to what is showing up for you each day to be able to create what you want? The most incredible thing we possess is also the most daunting…free will. What will you choose with yours?
Here’s to your journey, your path, your unique human experience. May you be blessed.
Why Magnetic Headlines Are Crucial for Your Posts
Welcome to Rainmaker. This is a sample post to get you started on your journey. Don’t forget that your headline is the most important aspect of writing a great post, and getting readers to read your opening paragraph. The first four to six sentences of your post are critical, because if you don’t hook your audience, they will get bored and click away. What is the benefit you will provide readers that you promised in the title? Be sure to describe the signs of the problem you will offer a solution to toward the end of your post.
Use subheads to improve readability and gather interest
Here you can begin to describe the underlying causes of the problem you have the solutions to, using persuasive arguments and great storytelling, and readers will have no choice but to read more.
Subheads help readers scan your content quickly
Bullet points are helpful to keep your copy reader-friendly, and a proven standard for making a solid argument:
- Tell a great story, but don’t over-write it. Be authentic!
- Use internal cliffhangers to entice readers to read more.
- Use a great image to make an impression on readers from the start.
Subheads draw readers’ attention to your call to action
When you provide real solutions and insights for your prospects and customers, you build trust and authority that will allow you to deepen the conversation further with an opt-in or call-to-action. Sign up here! This is where a compelling call to action makes it clear to your readers what they need to do next to implement your solution. Good luck!